Sunday, 29 May 2016

I Raised a Doctor and a Lawyer, But I Lost 2 Sons.

Recently, I watched the Talking Point trailer and I felt sad. Is doing well academically the only thing we want our children to achieve? I failed English and Mathematics countless times in Primary School. Did have tuition for a very short time. But I was still failing and so, my parents decided to leave me to cope with my own studies. I didn't do well in PSLE either. My parents never reprimanded me for not doing well. All they gave were encouragement and said that I just have to try my best. In the end, I turned out perfectly fine - went to university, got an MOE teaching scholarship and became a teacher. I contributed to society much like everyone else. 

Of course, I hope all my children do well academically. But that's not my priority. My priority is for them to be happy, that they enjoy learning and have the right attitude in life. A positive and right attitude is what will help them succeed in life. 

I want them to play as much as they can, while they can. As a stay at home mum, I do not send my kids for tuition class. Instead, I send them to playgrounds, science centre, farms, parks and anywhere fun. This is what I stay at home to do. in fact, we play so hard nowadays and that I hardly have time to blog. 

Anyway, I want to share a real life story that I've heard. A story that might help us to reflect as parents. 

A mother was determined to raise 2 successful sons. She tried her best to help her 2 sons reach their full potential. Always supervising their work, employing tuition teachers to coach them in their work, sending them for enrichment programme and etc. She did everything she could to ensure the success of her children. She was very strict with them and had very high expectations. When her sons failed to meet her expectation, she punished them and took away their privileges. She always justified to others that "it was for their own good". So she continued to push and push and push her sons to reach their potential. 

Finally, one of her sons became a lawyer and another became a doctor.

But it isn't a happy ending. Now she talks of how she raised a doctor and a lawyer, but lost 2 sons.

She was too focused on their academic success and she lost the opportunity to build a relationship with her sons. Her sons became a doctor and lawyer, but yet seldom come back to visit her. Yes, earning big bucks but are so busy that they don't even give a ring. 

Nothing can ever reverse the lost time. 

Here is another video that I first watched a long time ago. But I will never forget this.

What do we really want as parents?

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